I love all of the above and cannot hope to compete. This is my least bad effort so far:
It is a hopeful Christmas list
And ‘twas writ by Samuel T. -
A list of things he doth desire
To find beneath the tree.
I fear thee, Father Christmas!
I yearn for something nice.
I fear that thou might fob me off
With hankies and Old Spice.
I want, instead, an albatross
With feathers white and snowy,
A dulcimer, some honeydew
(Quite rare in Nether Stowey),
Perhaps some pen nibs of my own,
As Wordsworth keeps on hoardin’ ‘em,
But, failing this, I’d settle for
A year’s supply of laudanum.
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