This is better but still no poetry. I think our best men will win here which isn't me. But I'll have bash. Mike Hammer I think. Really nasty.
No. 2835: hard-boiled Blyton
You are invited to submit an extract from a classic of children literature of your choice rewritten in the style of hard-boiled crime fiction (150 words maximum). Please email entries, wherever possible, to
lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 5 February.