These days, you need to be an insult trader,
when cricketing down in the southern seas
or you might find good fortune at its nadir.
The Aussies love their verbal jousts and these
turned batsmen into shadows, pale and haggard,
when scathing bouncers ‘tween the stumps were hurled.
Back to the pavilion they all staggered,
out-sledged before a dumbstruck cricket world,
riposting reputations truly tarnished.
With repartee the Poms were swept away,
the ashes of defeat divinely garnished
with humble pie. The Aussies leered as they
ensured this most demeaning meal was eaten
stone cold and, what is worse, in this regard,
the cook had not the wherewithal to sweeten
the bitter taste with literary nard.
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