[Brian Allgar]

xxxxxxxxxxSuspense

North by Northwest? I took the wrong direction,
And now I’m stuck on this absurd projection.
Suspended by my fingernails and toes,
I’m hanging on to Lincoln’s massive nose.
“I’m just an English visitor from Taunton”,
I tell the bad guys, “I’m not Roger Thornton!”
“You’re not?” the leader says suspiciously.
“Then tell us, wise guy, where the f— is he?”
I’d gladly tell them what they want to know -
Perhaps they’d very kindly let me go -
But Thornton’s role was played by Cary Grant,
Who died decades ago, and so I can’t.
I’m waiting for the good guys to arrive,
As in the film, and get me out alive.
I hope it’s soon - the wind is chilling me,
And frankly, the suspense is killing me.