A quick and autobiographical attempt :--
Bloody Springtime brings more rain,
Bloody lawn's all moss again.
Bloody wife wants garden dug,
Bloody job for bloody mug.
Bloody grass begins to grow,
Bloody mower will not mow.
Bloody next-door's cat uproots
Bloody swathes of bloody shoots.
Bloody catalogues all lied,
Bloody plants have bloody died.
Bloody roses put out suckers,
Bloody, sodding prickly f******.
Bloody songbirds wake at dawn,
Bloody badgers dig up lawn.
Bloody place a bloody mess.
Next door's like the RHS.
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