[Brian Allgar]

Graham, your idea for shortening my piece is an interesting alternative, although without 'D' to 'T' in the second stanza, "The U- to Y-’s were turned away" rather loses its point. And I think I prefer the gruesome ending. On the other hand, I agree that keeping the puns would be a Good Thing, so I'll continue to mull it over - there's still plenty of time ...

Later: Having duly mulled, I've decided to ditch the whole alphabetic element, though I'm sorry to lose Zucchini. I've also changed the last line.

Asparagus and Broccoli detested one another,
Which made young Carrot rather sad; he loved them like a brother.
Hoping to reconcile the pair, he organized a party,
Inviting vegetable friends, and leafy litterati.

The younger sprouts were full of beans, and though the crowd was dense,
They blithely started playing squash, which gingered up events.
The music was provided by a band called “Sugar Beat”
Till someone let a rocket off, which knocked them off their feet.

“These kids have so much energy!” said Salsify to Spinach.
The revelry was clearly heard from Golders Green to Greenwich.
What rooty-tooty goings-on! What salad days! What capers!
The guests could hardly wait to read tomorrow’s morning papers.

The party was a great success, the happy throng enraptured -
Until a giant hand appeared, and all of them were captured.
They lay upon the chopping board, a fearful, tearful group;
The owner of the house just loved xher vegetable soup.