Extract from autobiography of Susan Boyle ghostwritten by J.R.R.Tolkien
In a home in the town of Blackburn there lived a hobbyist named SuBo, who loved to sing. Not Blackburn, Lancashire but Blackburn, West Lothian (which is equally wet and oozy). However, the home was dry.
I am SuBo! Although it took years before that name came to be heard in the counsels of the Great and Wise, from this homely beginning I set out on my Great Adventure.
The Green Room had a door, with a big brass knob, leading to a tunnel, tiled and carpeted, with many doors off it, winding into the theatre towards The Stage (as people for miles around called it).
This is the story of how I had an Adventure and found myself doing things altogether unexpected. I would face perils - the wizard Simon of the Dark Glower; the ranked hordes of Murmur - hostile forces, inclined however to underestimate the humble…
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