[Rob Stuart]

Over the hills and far away
I fancy there’s a better life;
A sky that’s blue instead of grey,
A somewhat bigger-titted wife,

An end to all these sodding bills,
A bit more hair, a slimmer waist,
A son who isn’t hooked on pills,
A daughter who is sweet and chaste.

Over the hills and far away
There’s no confusion, lies or war.
It’s one long, carefree holiday
Where all have love and joy galore,

And God makes His existence clear
To thwart the doubting Thomases,
And no one ever has to hear
Nick Clegg make empty promises.