Pension: the pittance given retirees to guarantee the supply of letters to the Editor of the Telegraph.
MP: one who, having spent years making animal noises in Parliament, can still express surprise at being discovered nose in trough.
Holiday: eventless interlude it takes fifty weeks to pay for but only the return bucket flight to erase.
Europe: a province of Germany.
HS2: algebraic term describing the slowest, most expensive route between two points, one of which no-one wants to reach.
Christmas: commencement of the 365 day gift selling season on ebay.
Estate Agent: salesperson with the ability to see the potential igloo in every puddle.
Love: the emotion all songs described before The Beatles started taking LSD.
Meeting: the formal gathering of all those in an organisation without whom the job will continue to be done perfectly well.
Television: the box Ray Gosling buried himself on.
|