I probably wouldn't have read this if I'd seen it in a book somewhere or something, but since it was here, and I did, I quite like the beginning and the ending. The 4th & 5th stanzas don't work for me - the fourth is difficult to say and the fifth is just confusing.
I don't know if I would call it a sonnet; it doesn't feel like one to me, but it's an interesting poem.
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