spaces
I can't say the spaces do much for me. They're trying that "We Real Cool" thing, forcing a certain cadence into the poem, but imho I think the diction and punctuation should do that. Some lines do flow better, but in others the sentence structure works against the author's line reading. That would be an interesting technique if such a tension were necessary to express another level of the poem, such as an unspoken inner conflict, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
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