Clearly this is written by an accomplished sonneteer. The alliteration of gust, grits, grinds, gear, grey, Grim, work wonderfully together, to mention only one of the many levels of word play here—and in only the first six lines! (Perhaps the “w” sounds are a bit overdone in the sestet?) I do like how “storm-eaten holes” in L7 sounds so natural, so used are we to “worm-eaten.”
There are other things, however, that interfere with my enjoyment of this poem. Perhaps it is the fault of the subject matter (the way certain movies will never be to my taste), for some of what I object to does fit the theme. One is the jerky rhythm, particularly in lines 3 (4-beat), 4, 7. For some reason the final couplet in hexameters does not bother me—perhaps because of the clear iambic pentameter of the sentence in L13 and the strong iambics in L14.
I’d rather see “lower gear” in L2, and I’m not sure using “wait” three times in the last four lines works.
But this gives me much more to work with than the first two postings did!
(Did I miss #3? I’ll go back now and check.)
Marta
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