[Roger Slater]

Here's a revision trying to save the entry:

Though I am from the USA
(and mighty proud to be!)
I will not hesitate to say
I love the BBC.

I am a realist. I know
my life is small and shabby.
But once a week it isn't so!
I'm Lord of Downton Abbey!

Or maybe I'm the butler there,
a footman, a solicitor?
It doesn't matter. I don't care,
so long as I'm a visitor.

I'm ushered in. I say, "How kind!
I'd love a spot of tea!"
What's that you're saying? Never mind . . .
I meant the ITV.

or for last stanza:


I'm ushered in. I say, "Why, cheers!
I'd love a spot of tea!"
Then Carson looks at me and sneers,
"The show's on ITV."