[Douglas G. Brown]

A fool and his money butter no parsnips

Beware the ides of starch

A fly in the ointment gathers no moss.

Act in haste, repent in North Dakota

March comes in like a proctologist, and goes out like a lamb

April showers bring cauliflowers

Verily, it is easier to pass a turd through the eye of a needle than to pick it up by its clean end.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the Zamboni

It is a wise child that knows his mother’s postman

There’s a chukker born every 7 ½ minutes

The early bird gets the positive pregnancy test

You cantaloupe and eat it too

You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd (by the late Roger Miller)