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Unread 05-15-2014, 08:51 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Meriam View Post
I understand Ross's point (not sure if I can explain it but I'll try). Some of the lines seem to break for the sake of the rhyme scheme alone. There's an awkwardness in the lines Ross quotes. Hearing the poem read aloud, you probably wouldn't notice.

This is an example of effective lineation:

Calmly, you walk the deck while down below
clocks tick toward their appointed time.

This is not so effective:

clocks tick toward their appointed time. You go
about your business, unaware of bold
I agree with that. But I think the issue has less to do with enjambment and more to do with the choice of which words to rhyme on. Letting a word be a rhyme word tends to draw more attention to that word and suggests a rhetorical emphasis is called for, but the word "go" here arguably doesn't deserve that extra attention and emphasis, so arguably it's a weak rhyme. But weak rhymes can happen even when there's no enjambment.

On the other hand, come to think of it, I suppose there's a greater danger of weak rhymes when there's enjambment, and I suppose enjambment is most successful when the choice of rhyme word seems rhetorically apt even though the phrase or clause continues to the next line.
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