I think it reads well, but like Julie I question "integument." That word really clangs in the context, and adamant, though known for its hardness, is not a very accurate substitute for jasper or chalcedony or agate. I would also question "likewise" in S2, because I think the meaning is more like "just as" but "likewise" suggests "in addition." "In the dust" seems to be misdirection when it is separated too far from "August." I admire the rhyming and the generally clear syntax.
Susan
|