Martin, I get the ending now. I think there was something confusing me about using 'till', and I think it remains slightly confusing. 'The informant's voice was thoroughly ethereal until the the sun turned fat etc.' has the implication that the quality of the voice somehow changes from ethereal to something else when the sun burns up. I guess, the absence of thought, the absence of minds means that's there's no longer anyone to hear to voice and to register its quality, so the concept of "ethereal" will not longer exist. But do you see what I mean? Anyway, I think that's what was confusing me. I like your "marge" fix.
Thanks for flagging the additional foot in mine. I've rewritten the line.
- Matt
Last edited by Matt Q; 11-19-2014 at 01:20 PM.
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