If I seem quick off the mark it's because I sneaked a peak at the new Oldie in Smiths earlier.
You’re feeling depressed after watching the news;
There’s no reconciling the Arabs and Jews.
They both have intractable, dogmatic views.
What is to be done? Buy a new pair of shoes.
Your son’s mugging tramps for a swig of cheap booze,
Your daughter’s resplendent in facial tattoos,
Your missus is now taking lovers in twos.
You know what you need? Why, a new pair of shoes.
You’re no longer free to pay visits to zoos
(They found you at Whipsnade without any trews,
Molesting unfortunate bush kangaroos),
But who can deny you a new pair of shoes?
Get flip-flops for comfort or clogs to amuse,
Get wellies or army boots, brogues, Jimmy Choos.
There’s nothing like footwear for beating the blues,
So cheer yourself up with a new pair of shoes.
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