[Rob Stuart]

I can’t remember why we fought that fateful Sunday night,
But as for how I choked her, I remember that all right.
The moment that my grip relaxed, I took a kitchen knife
And got to work dismembering the body of my wife.

I quickly set about the task of covering my tracks
And found an almost finished roll of plastic rubbish sacks.
I scooped the bits inside them, then I calmly bundled each
Inside the wheelie bin outside, then got a mop and bleach.

Next morning I was woken by a knock upon the door,
And being woken early is a thing that I abhor.
I querulously told the hi-vis jacket wearing chap
His thoughtless and appalling conduct merited a slap.

Unfazed, he looked me in the eye and said my wheelie bin
Appeared to have the butchered parts of some old lady in,
Then told me, as I bowed my head, guilt-ridden and disgraced,
I should have put them in the one that’s marked ‘organic waste’.