It’s true, alas, I hang my head in shame,
I cheated with my council waste today.
The unrecyclables are not the same
As bottles of Chablis or Beaujolais
Or last year’s presentation Plymouth Gin.
I’m sure it’s only happened once or twice -
Let him first cast the stone who does not sin
And via bulging land-fill pay the price!
I’d rather get force-fed that foulness, Coke,
Or shoved into a pile of dung head-first
Than be the sort of unenlightened bloke
Whose planet-saving zeal’s not like a thirst.
I will reform, in this I am sincere,
And hope past faults are, globally, small beer.
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