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Unread 09-20-2015, 05:01 AM
Ann Drysdale's Avatar
Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Erik - I know I'm an interfering old biddy so do feel free to ignore this, but I feel you're missing a trick here.

The link between the two is not so much sport itself as the desire to simulate flight - the more-than human freedom it implies, as you suggest in the last line.

However, since you've only got four lines to pursue two lines of thought, it seems a pity to complicate the last of them with a twist of syntax. What do you think about introducing the other f-word at that point: "Who never flew beyond their cage"?
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