The music is lovely, so the translator has made a major contribution by writing the music. Yet the translation itself feels disappointing to me without some rhymes to structure the verses, outside of the refrain. I think something like the acrostic in the refrain is a minor loss (especially since one does not hear an acrostic when it is sung). The rhymes, however, add a sense of control that acts as a counterpoise to the emotion of the piece. Without that control, the piece feels more artless--heartfelt, yes, but lacking in art.
Susan
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