One wishes that "The naughtiest dog!" (or the like) of line S1L3 could have been retained.
S1L9 "Knows men can be demolished with a kiss," is not the same as
"He knows whoever sees a woman is derailed"
S2L1,2 "We’ve seen them dig themselves halfway to China,
Great spirits mired in a whore’s vagina." Great! Better than the original lines!
S2L10 "By afternoon Descartes’s a powerful draw." is a bit of a stretch for "In the afternoon he dedicates himself to an idea."
S211,12 "At evening he says, “I’m a man of honor!”
But come the night he’s lying there upon her." Again, better than the
original's construction!
S3L1,2 "This fellow here is facing execution.
They’ve tied the noose, they’re giving absolution." Not the same as the
"lime" brought in to cover his carcass in anticipation of his execution.
That's it, the only crits, and did I say I prefer "monkey on his back" to "sexual dependency"? Quite an admirable translation.
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