There is good stuff in here; like I like goner/upon her and China/vagina. But too many dubious word choices, all of them rhyme-driven: "narcissist," "laying," "mug," "conner." (who says "conner"?) Also, I agree with those who have picked on "Descartes."
I appreciate the ambition and admire the dark tone.
Last edited by Diane Arnson Svarlien; 11-16-2015 at 09:17 AM.
Reason: afterthought
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