This is hard. Here is an effort of mine but it's dodgy.
Limit: Two Tons
Ole Ginge and me got tons and tons
Of bows an’ arrows, spuddy guns
Pea shooters, slingshots, catapults,
The sort of stuff that gets results.
We hide behind a hedge and bang
Bang bang, the trusty Outlaw gang
Has struck again, me and ole Ginge,
We make the high-and-mighty cringe.
We ping the shirt studs off some toff.
Then knock a copper’s helmet off.
The bishop’s bonce, the vicar’s bottom,
The bosom of his wife, we got ‘em.
We two, we got ‘em in our sights,
Vile villains, got ‘em bang to rights,
A game with guns that maims and stuns,
The giddy limit: tons and tons.
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