[Douglas G. Brown]

Wal-Mart hemorrhages cash,
McDonald's had a major crash,
Exxon passed it's dividend,
And Google's in a downward trend.

The latest hedge fund Ponzi scheme
Surpasses Madoff's wildest dream.
Foreclosures reached a record high,
Though no one knows exactly why.

The Chairman of the mighty Fed
Was murdered as she slept in bed,
And turmoil in the Middle East
Has made the bear a raging beast.

Without a paddle, up Shit Creek,
Wall Street had a brutal week.
Though I was lucky, truth be told;
I'd shorted stocks and purchased gold.