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Unread 10-21-2016, 01:36 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
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I agree with Cathy that the rhymes in the second quatrain are uncomfortably close in sound to one another and "shoving sideshow" is a tongue-twister. I have never read Peter Pan, but have seen some statues of the character in which he seems to be playing a musical instrument, such as in this famous statue in Kensington Gardens:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_...%2812% 29.JPG
The British slang may stump some American readers, but I think it works as local color.

Susan

Last edited by Susan McLean; 10-21-2016 at 01:42 PM.
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