I think this is terrific.
If I were going to tinker, it might be to adjust the fit of the sentences to the halves of the octave.
The louts lean out of windows on the square,
shouting obscenities at passersby,
roaring with laughter when they raise a glare
this cold and windy evening in July[.]
While southward, on the castle grounds at Glamis,
posh concertgoers shiver on the lawns[,]
clutch[ing] their champers (de rigueur at Proms),
clapp[ing] politely, covering their yawns.
It feels a little unbalanced the way it is. But not a major problem.
I love the sestet, and I think the tone of the last line is just right.
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