I think this is very well done until the final couplet, which for me isn't epiphanic at all but something of a let-down. We had all those interesting metaphors and fanciful observations about parachutists, aliens, miscalculations, with close observation of details like the meniscus of the wine, and then along comes the climactic couplet and all we are given is a bunch of non-descript sparrows which we are ordered by an exclamation point to find exciting.
Until the couplet there's not much I'd complain about, though the "moorings" metaphor may come off a bit less fresh than I'd like.
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