LOL, you put the "canto" in Cantor, Michael! [Edited to say that yeah, my attempt at a pun on "cento" doesn't really work. Sorry. Moving on...]
My favorite part of this is by far the sestet, but I think that that sort of stream-of-consciousness assemblage of unconnected images really needs the contextual setup of a straightforward octave (even if I'm not wowed by the current Q2).
In fact, that's what I see as the turn in this sonnet--a shift from deliberately-constructed argumentation in the octave to a mere pile of images in the sestet. In theory, I like it. A lot. In application, I have to admit that the deliberately-constructed part could use a few tweaks.
The best part of that second quatrain is the inventive veneer/snare rhyme, but I wouldn't mind losing that if the author were to write a really strong second quatrain to replace it.
Last edited by Julie Steiner; 10-25-2016 at 07:49 PM.
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