It's well done all the way through, and the opening six lines grabbed my attention - but then it sort of sent nicey-nice and sideways when I would have preferred more of a bang. Reading it through a few times, I think the problem is with lines seven and eight, which somehow seem to be struggling to say something and justify their existence, rather than join the flow of the poem. "scale miscalculation" jerks me out of the poem. The closing sestet is good - the poem is back on track, and ends quietly but well. It may not even be all of L7/L8 - possibly its just "scale miscalculation" that clangs, and has be be replaced.
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