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Old 09-10-2018, 08:56 PM
A. Sterling A. Sterling is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: East Coast, U.S.A.
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Hi Martin,

I like this, and will attempt to come back to it later to say more. But the thing that strikes me right now, reading this, is that leaving out the “newspapers” in S1 also means leaving out the only hint in the first stanza that things are about to take a political turn in the second. I’m also a bit skeptical about “crossing all Septembers,” in S3, which doesn’t communicate a whole lot and also doesn’t reflect the subtle political dimension in the original—since each country doesn’t actually have its own separate sky, that part reads a bit ironically to me. The moreso because I was under the impression that “vlast” is more along the lines of “fatherland” than “country.”
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