[Brian Allgar]

It'll take me some time to hack my way though the undergrowth of old competition entries. In the meantime ...

Dr Spooner still garbled his words,
Though insisting “I’m wetter with birds”.
At a wedding, this freak
Was invited to speak,
And to utter a few tasteful words.

So he stood to give hope and advice
While sprinkling confetti and rice.
“In a few wasteful turds,
May you boo like the Kurds,
May your children be night-filled and lice.”

******************

He had an unfortunate vice:
He could easily order “Fried Rice”,
But his tongue would get stuck
When he ordered “Fried Duck”;
What they served him was not very nice.

******************

Dr. Spooner said: “I must apprise
My detractors - your jokes are unwise.
I tell you”, he grumbled,
“My stung never tumbled;
It’s all been a great lack of pies.”

(Note to Graham: I didn't pinch the "lack of pies" from you. This limerick is from many years ago.)