“Hey, Jayne, here’s my good news! I won the election! But that lyin' creep Joe Biden refuses to admit defeat, so my guys are havin’ to do a lotta court cases to get the true results accepted. In the meantime, more good news: the Cambridge University Netball Team has made me their president for life! And the Presidential Re-election and Inauguration Committee of Kentucky has done the same, thanks to that great patriot Mitch McConnell! Believe me, I ain’t goin’ anywhere soon … although I’m keepin’ my passport in a safe place just in case.” @realDotardTrump
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