[Roger Slater]

Sorry, John. I didn't notice that before I posted.

The Washington Post Style Invitational had a contest to write new Burma Shave style jingles. Here are the results:

Why exercise
To get a date?
WE’LL do the push-ups;
YOU’LL look great!
Wonderbra.
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Tip for new drivers
In the Sunshine State:
Blinker on means
Going straight.
AARP.
(David Ballard, Reston, Va.)

On a bridge
With breezes wafting,
Drive carefully
Or you’ll be rafting.
(Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)

Sure, do your makeup!
That should please
The first responding
EMTs.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

Kerouwhacked: Honorable mentions
The same-sex marriage
Path is cleared,
So now’s the time
To lose your beard.
Burma-Shave.
(Brendan Beary)

Lather up
So you can stop
Approximating
ZZ Top.
Burma-Shave.
(Mike Caslin, Round Hill, Va.)

Life is tough
And that’s for sure —
Luckily
We have the cure!
Philip Morris.
(Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

He watched the female
Jogger’s keister;
With eyes off road,
He predeceased her.
(Brendan Beary)

dont txt an driv
or u wl b
not LOL
but OMG.
(Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

No longer alive,
Since, sadly, he blundered:
He thought 95
Was the Indy Five Hunderd.
(Mae Scanlan, Washington)

Sex at the wheel
Is horribly risky,
So hire a driver
Before you get frisky.
Acme Limo Service.
(Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)

Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
Knows how to beep.
No-Doz.
(Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

If, Mrs. Sprat,
You choose to fly,
Please greet your mate
Like this: “Jack! Hi!”
TSA.
(Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)

You drink champagne
And dine on partridge?
If so, you can
Afford our cartridge.
HP Printers.
(John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)

An ample breast,
A supple thigh.
Come on in
And watch us fry!
KFC.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Congressman Weiner
Has resigned,
But we still have
The other kind.
Massengill.
(Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)

We know you now
Depend on us —
So please don’t leave
For Google+.
Facebook.
(Stephen Litterst, Newark, Del.)

The call of FarmVille
Never ends
From all your so-called
Facebook friends.
Google+.
(Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

And last:
Lady Bird,
Don’t spin distressed,
We’re only doing
This in jest.
— The Style Invitational. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)