Christine, you start the best threads.
I, like Ann and Carl, think you could rework this if you wanted to. It's very much not a disaster, at all. It's funny and light/serious and the pink ink is wonderful!
My best ‘first’ poem I wrote when I was about eight (carefully, with fountain pen). I don’t think I have a whole copy as there were mice in the house, but it was a sonnet about Tate & Lyle’s Golden Syrup.
I can remember the first and last line - the first was ‘The golden tin sits neatly on the shelf’ and the last was ‘the Lion loses his Kitchen Glory’. In between was a great deal of writing about how nice golden syrup tasted when scooped from a tin with a sly finger, and bluebottles.
(For context, here’s
a Tate and Lyle Golden Syrup tin).
The second awful sonnet, written about ten years later, was about negative space, and was much worse. I probably have a copy of that somewhere that I’ll try to dig out. But I didn’t try to write any further sonnets post-negative-space sonnet until I joined here, for which the world should heave a sigh of relief.
Sarah-Jane