View Single Post
  #6  
Unread 11-19-2023, 04:53 AM
Andrew Frisardi Andrew Frisardi is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Lazio, Italy
Posts: 5,813
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post
One more question for you. What do you think about changing L23 to:

where tender muses slipped me smiles in passing,

“Tender” is there in the original. I don’t think it was a great loss, but “slipped”—a recent addition—would seem to cover “secret,” so I’m thinking I should restore “tender.”
I had thought the same thing earlier but forgot to mention it. So yes, I agree that's a good tweak to make.
Reply With Quote