Carl,
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what I meant was that you wanted a poetic (con)fusion of meanings, and my reaction confirmed it, so I think we’re all right with that one.
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Whoops, I’d meant to say “poetically vs. uncomfortably
unclear.” Talk about inelegant phrasing! But I see that you got what I meant there--and in the poem. Great!
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I must have been tired. Not only would I normally write “sync” (I hope), but “data” is a Latin plural, not Greek.
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Oh, yes—I knew that but had overlooked it.
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In my philosophy of punctuation, an ellipsis stands in for something unspoken, maybe just a pause for thought, while a colon is a right-pointing arrow. (I don’t know if that’s Cameron/King James or not.)
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Okay, so you don’t see what follows the colon as needing to refer to the
whole of whatever preceded the colon. Good. Due to feedback plus my own gut preference, I've gone ahead and reinstated (from a pre-posting draft) that colon.
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a bird queen is a quieter mixed metaphor than a ripe queen.
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Yes, the expression "full-fledged" has come to be applied so generally that I'm hoping its bird association in this poem is minimal. “Ripened,” on the other hand, has seldom expanded in its application beyond the context of fruit (even though “ripe” has).
Thanks again!
. .. Meanwhile, the moon is still quite full (peak yesterday) in unclouded skies . . .