Ah, MRIs. Not a lot of fun, though very useful.
I was half-hoping, reading the thread's title, that the N would be inside an actual beast, like Jonah. There really is a sense of being spit out at the end of those sessions.
Cynical me, I’m skeptical about the last two lines of this poem. Depicting the technicians as saints somehow seems to dehumanize the scene. The Dantesque conclusion of being moved by capital-L love stretches the poem beyond its scope, even with Joe’s suggestion for toning it down. I’d prefer some more down-to-earth way of suggesting their attentiveness.
In S1, “SciFi” could be lowercase “sci-fi.” In line 4 “blue” is redundant after “cerulean.” That line in general could be tighter, as it uses a lot of syllables just to say they were wearing blue uniforms. “Scrubs” is the standard name for those uniforms, at least in U.S. English, so that might be an alternative.
For S2L3, “inside this infinitely narrow space” would eliminate the need for the filler “all.”
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