Thanks Ralph. Glad you enjoyed it. And glad you enjoyed the scifi aspect.
You are right, strictly speaking, about line 1 of S2 (I don’t really think of it as S2, just as the second half of the poem). I have allowed myself a breath there, and I – perversely – count that towards the number of beats.
Thanks Joe. Glad you’re enjoying the ride. (There is one more stop – poetically speaking. Strictly speaking, I suppose that’s inaccurate.)
Ah, you have your own memories of MRI. Memorable, isn’t it?
I quite like your suggested amendment in the last line, but the reference to Love (daringly capitalised, in a sort of 18th century gesture) is supposed to be to the original setting up of our dear old NHS. That, to me, was an act of love towards a populace by its government. That’s my fanciful take on it, anyway. And we could do with more of such acts. Isn’t that what a government’s supposed to be for? (I know, colour me naïve.)
I like the "infinitely narrow space" too - I had a line in Hamlet in mind there, can you guess which one? - but I can see the force of Andrew's objection to it.
Oh Julie, I'm pleased you liked that jolt. And that's another good suggestion for the last line.
I see your point about the last two lines, Andrew - these people were being paid for doing that they do, and of course they're not saints - but I do think that this is a mental stretch that is possible with a national health service, "free at the point of use", as they say, whereas it may not be in a Pay As You Go system. My mind boggles to consider how much this procedure would have cost if I was paying for it myself. Okay, I would have medical insurance, but what sort of last line would that give me ... "whose moving principle, like theirs, is good health cover". I'll stick with Love, while conceding that it is often imperfect. And with long waiting lists.
Yes, scifi is giving me some problems, as is - as Jim has pointed out - that damn TV set. But I like the association - the etymology, even - of "cerulean", and "cerulean blue" seems to be a commonly used phrase.
Jim, we do, or did, call them TV sets. And that is bothering me. I've been messing with that line right from the start, but somehow TV scifi set doesn't seem any better. I even wondered about "more of a 60s TV scifi set" - is that any better?
Carl, very pleased you like - or even love - this. I agree with you about the comma, and I think you must be right about sci-fi. Your reading of the controversial final couplet is the same as mine, but I agree that the "whose" and "theirs" might cause at least momentary confusion.
Cheers, all, as ever
David
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