It does seem very much like a portrait of the artist at rest, albeit in some discomfort - a place of hard-earned stasis.
Thinking partly along the same sort of lines as John, I could almost be tempted to say that it could finish at S3 - that would be very attractive - but then I would miss the final stanza, which would be a shame. Clearly SS 4-5 are of importance to you, but this reader would be happy to see you move from 3 to 6 (now 4), perhaps with this piece of legerdemain ...
Such days will be. And this one’s done.
So cue the anguished metronome,
Just a thought.
Cheers
David
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