Jim,
I really like this account of mom and her joeys, its rich imagery coherent and suggestive from beginning to end. But taking the sentence Kira suggested is too long in the original as an example, I’d say that this is overly modified throughout both versions. I have no argument with modifiers, but other members may differ. I’m still pondering the analogy of the opossums' plight and speaker’s concern at the end.
(I did one about a hedgehog rolling around in fallen apples to carry a load on her spikes to feed her brood, based on Thoreau’s analogy of his own carrying apples in his pockets to maintain balance. It was the first of my many posts with 0 responses!)
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Ralph
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