I was obtuse. What I was trying to say is that any writing that is drawn from the writer's past is by nature a reflection. I've noticed that some works of memory will have an undercurrent of reflecting on the act of remembering. Memory itself becomes a sort of object. Are we remembering the place and what happened or didn't happen, or are we remembering the last time we remembered it?
I guess I'm rambling. My basic point is that the poem may be improved if we saw/felt the narrator remembering. It's that quality Bishop has. She often gives the impression that she just sat down and is remembering what she's writing about as we read. I think that is what makes her later FV longer poems so good.
Maybe this doesn't apply to what you are doing here. I do hope I've said something you can use but if not I'm sorry for wasting your time.
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