Hi Jim. I think I would get more out of this if I knew the backstory better - so does that story (or stories?) need to be more upfront in the poem? - but I got a lot out of it anyway.
I am wondering what the fourth section adds here. I like the way the third section finishes, but you might find that, if you go back to there, you find a different, better way to end it.
But you might not.
Still, this might at least kick-start some further thoughts on the poem. I hope so.
Cheers
David
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