Jim, I think and have to say that I don't see a poem until the last stanza and that is so much better than what comes before. It's sort of weird. The top two are full of dark houses and "martyr's tears" and swarm and swallow. I guess the second one is an announcement of faith and I don't want to seem to be mocking that but for me there is nothing that attaches.
Then the last one starts like a knife flick. It doesn't need anything that comes before. In my reading, it's as though the top two are revving the motor until the car warms up.
I hope this isn't too much but that is what I see. I hope it helps.
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