On "Moving Life with Questions"
Hi.
My thoughts on "Moving Life With Questions".
• A Hopperesque conceit on Still Life.
• I think the repetition of the word “red” makes the tone less colourful.
• Is the “slant” in line 3 needed given its repetition in line 6.
• I’m unsure of the word “presses” in line -11. To me it suggests intense anxiety and I wonder if what’s intended is that natural way we have of holding a garment up to our shoulders to view it.
• At line -10 I am faced with a choice between fantasy, cinema or voyeurism. If “we .. make a decision”, it must be the first whilst the overall drift of the poem suggests the last.
• Final line: “here” or “there”?
My best wishes,
Chris.
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