Hi, John. I love the image of you and the dog sitting together. It’s fun to think of the dog as a meditator, but of course he’s not and has no need to be, which in turn pokes a little fun at humans trying to meditate their way to the simplicity of dog consciousness. A couple nits or half-nits:
I first thought the bell and timer were the same thing, which places most of the poem post-meditation. That ultimately didn’t make sense, but it took me a while to get turned around.
I was a little unsure at first how “me” in L15 fits in, but I guess the dog is full of the want of you: though right beside him, you’re meditatively absent. I’d put a semicolon or period after “me” to tip off the reader that what follows will be a complete sentence.
I love the way the poem ends.
Last edited by Carl Copeland; 01-14-2024 at 08:21 AM.
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