.
I know that deep, exhausted dog sigh. It is a beautiful thing.
The phrase "for he is full" took me out of the poem briefly. It just sounds unnatural. It sounds almost parabolic. You could use a semicolon or colon after "sigh" and drop the "for"
and my dog sighs; he is full
of the chase and the want
of the bones eaten,
I cannot fathom a timed meditation. But that's my problem. I am fascinated by this careful, contemplative demystified recounting of a meditation. I still struggle to gather the discipline to meditate but have learned to be still and open the door wide to contemplation.
I, too, think you've boldly ended the poem with a meditational burst of the bubble allowing the poem to float in particles to the ground.
.
|