Quote:
Originally Posted by A. Baez
I find your poem paraphrase to be surprisingly gripping compared to the poem itself. It is bold and direct, and what a nice ironic surprise it is to find at the end of this free verse, the observation that the best poets write in rhyme!
|
That occurred to me too as I was reading the paraphrase, but I lacked the nerve to suggest it. Some of it might still want a little poeticizing—it doesn’t even have to be free verse if you don’t want it to be—but if you do revise, I’d try sticking closer to the paraphrase and its engaging directness.