John, I feel like this could be gutted. What I object to is the overly ornate language ("for") and the reference to the poem. It sees to me that what attracts me to this is the sinews: the earthiness of it that seems in some sense to give meditation a kind of animal energy: the pure animal body of the dog is what interests me, I want something more physical, more full of guts. So gut it, as they say: let the guts show more.
Hope this helps.
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